Who put the doggy in the doghouse?
You did, baby - you did
Who put your granny in the grannyhouse?
You did, baby - you did, baby
Who put the bad in the madhouse?
You did, baby - you did
Who put that junk in the junkhouse?
You did, baby - you did, baby

Keep your eye on things while I'm gone
Keep a lid on things
Don't you try everything while I'm gone
Keep a lid on things

Who put the fun in the funhouse?
You did, baby - you did
Who put your dad in the halfhouse?
You did, baby - you did, baby
Who put the boys in the clubhouse?
You did, baby - you did
Who put the cat in the cathouse?
You did, baby - you did, baby

Keep your eye on things while I'm gone
Keep a lid on things
Don't you try everything while I'm gone
Keep a lid on things
Keep your eye on things while I'm gone
Keep a lid on things

Who dug the hole in the outhouse?
You did, baby - you did
Who put Whitey in the White House?
You did, baby - you did, baby

Keep your eye on things while I'm gone
Keep a lid on things
Don't you try everything while I'm gone
Keep a lid on things
Keep your eye on things while I'm gone
Keep a lid on things

I'm all freaked out
I'm all tweaked out
I'm being chased by insects
And I wanna eat my cigarettes
I can't hang out
I'm all strung out
I've got to grab me by the throat
I've got to herd me like a goat

A cigarette is all you get
So hold your fire, don't light it yet

I'm all mixed up
I gotta fix me up
I wanna pull my tongue out
And turn my nostrils inside out
I'm all dried up
I'm all fried up
I wanna burn things now and then
If I've been talkin' to businessmen

A cigarette is all you get
So hold your fire, don't light it yet

I'm all shook up
I wanna get hooked up
I wanna listen to Elvis
I wanna shake my pelvis
I wanna take the train downtown
I wanna hear some Junior Brown
I wanna move my groovy hips
I wanna bite my shaky lips

A cigarette is all you get
So hold your fire, don't light it yet

You said you like mixin' it up
I said I don't like to chat
You said you smoked the big kahunas
I said I'm not like that

I'm just chillin', I'm just hangin'
So don't be spillin' your stuff on me
I'm just chillin', I'm just hangin', baby

You said you played some pocket pool
I said I played some myself
You wanna try it together sometime
I only play by myself

I'm just chillin', I'm just hangin'
So don't be spillin' your stuff on me
I'm just chillin', I'm just hangin', baby

You've got your friends in high places
Babe, I can pull my own strings
You said I'm a name in a phone book
I don't have one of those things

I'm just chillin', I'm just hangin'
So don't be spillin' your stuff on me
I'm just chillin', I'm just hangin', baby

You said we're cogs in a great big machine
Babe, I've got the right tools
You said it's all just a crazy dream
Well, I've got plenty of fuel

I'm just chillin', I'm just hangin'
So don't be spillin' your stuff on me
I'm just chillin', I'm just hangin', baby
I'm just chillin', I'm just hangin'
So don't be spillin' your stuff on me
I'm just chillin', I'm just hangin', baby

Well looky here now, my oh my
I got a bug stuck in my eye
I feel the chill right through my coat
I got a pill stuck in my throat
I'm a man, walking with a stick
I'm a man who likes to get in his kicks
I'm the man, talking to his dick
I'm the man getting all the chicks

You're gettin' flirty with me,
You're talkin' dirty to me,
You're sayin' "c'mon, baby!"
YEAH!

I want to par-tay! P-par-tay!
I want to par-tay! P-par-tay!

I should have checked before I chewed
I got a worm stuck in my food
I'm walking funny and it's not by chance
I got some shit stuck in my pants
You know that I could have my pick
You know that I got quirks and ticks
I like the way you play your tricks
I like the way you like to squirm and kick

You're gettin' flirty with me,
You're talkin' dirty to me,
You're sayin' "c'mon, baby!"
YEAH!

I want to par-tay! P-par-tay!
I want to par-tay! P-par-tay!

You know that it's not just a joke
I like to suck back a lot of Coke
I like the sugar it contains
I like the syrup in my veins
I'm a man walking with his drink
I'm a man talking to his drink
I'm a man woofing in the sink
And I'm the man, whatever you may think!

You're gettin' flirty with me,
You're talkin' dirty to me,
You're sayin' "c'mon, baby!"
YEAH!

I want to par-tay! P-par-tay!
I want to par-tay! P-par-tay!
I want to par-tay! P-par-tay!
I want to par-tay! Par-tay!
Par-tay! par-tay!
I want to par-tay! Par-tay!
I want to...

Hello, Mr. Fussy
Hello, Mrs. Nice
Have you ever shared a bathtub
Full of beer and ice?

I know you want to
I know you can
Put down your children
And free up your hands

Come on and free up your hands
Come on and free up your hands

Do you still like to kiss her?
Do you still hold her hand?
Would you cheat with her sister?
Do you march to her band?

And when you're by yourself
With a drink in one hand
Do you break your little rule
And give yourself the other hand?

C'mon and give yourself a hand
C'mon and give yourself a hand
C'mon and give yourself a hand
C'mon and give yourself a hand

I know your wife's uncle
He's a very nice man
He's got long clever fingers
On his lovely pink hands

Did you give that bad boy
The back of your hand?
I know you want to
I know you can

Give him the back of your hand
Give him the back of your hand
Give him the back of your hand
Give him the back of your hand

I want it cheap, I want it now
I want it fast, and I want it with feeling
I want it deep, I want a vow
I want it to last, and I want it with meaning

I will come and get you in the morning
We'll just go and not give any warning

I am the cheap, I'm right here now
I'm moving fast, and I've got the feeling
I'm going deep, I've made my vow
It is my last, and it's the one I'm keeping

I will come and get you in the morning
We'll just go and not give any warning
I will come and get you in the morning

I'm on my game, I walk the walk
I smell the smell, and I feel the feeling
It's in my name, I talk the talk
I ring the bell, and I do the dealing

I am the name, I am the walk
I've got the smell, and I've got the feeling
I'm going deep, I'm going fast
I'm going now, and I'm going with meaning

I will come and get you in the morning
We'll just go and not give any warning
I will come and get you in the morning
We'll just go and not give any warning
I will come and get you in the morning
We'll just go and not give any warning
I will come and get you in the morning

You try to play it cool, but you're pissed with me
In the swimming pool where you kissed with me
You're a shiny jewel, two-fistin' drinks on me
You're a killing tool, you're getting pissed with me

Pissed with me, baby
All night long
Pissed with me, baby
All night long

Another drink and a little ice
Would be quite good, I think, baby, don't think twice
You say we're kissin' cousins, well that's very nice
Baby, I've kissed dozens, you've got that extra spice

Kissin' with me, baby
All night long
Kissin' with me, baby
All night long

I've been having some trouble, someone's dickin' with me
I think I must have a double who's been frickin' with me
Well, he seems like fun, he looks just like me
He's doing everyone, so you be stickin' with me

Stickin' with me, baby
All night long
Stickin' with me, baby
All night long
Pissed with me, baby
All night long
Kissin' with me, baby
All night long

Take off your mink coat, take off your muff
Get on the table and show us your stuff
Right here next to me
I'm a fat old man, sweatin' and huffin'
A gin in my hand and your pretty little muffin
Right here next to me

Just don't feed me with no tube
Or change my dirty diaper
If I'm back at mommy's boob
Call in the frickin' snipers
And just shoot me, baby

Stuff me in the cracks, Stuff me
In the toilet, sweetie, put me in the trash
But be next to me
Send me to my room, hold me down
And spank me, use the wooden spoon
But be next to me

Just don't feed me with no tube
Or change my dirty diaper
If I'm back at Mommy's boob
Call in the frickin' snipers
And just shoot me, baby

Dip me in the river
You'll never wash my dirt away
Rip out my liver, baby
But be next to me

Just don't feed me with no tube
Or change my dirty diaper
If I'm back at Mommy's boob
Call in the frickin' snipers
And just shoot me, baby

There's some stuff on my shoe
That's got nothing to do
With the places you think that I've been
And the stuff on my breath
Isn't some kiss of death
From the people you think I've been seeing

Could I please be excused? I'm very confused
I think I'd better have a little something
I think I'd like to have a little something

Though you probably forget
There's a place that we met
When we first started lying at night
It was good on the car
You would go pretty far
And you seemed like you wanted a fight

Could I please be excused? I'm very confused
I think I'd better have a little something
I think I'd like to have a little something
I think I'd better have a little something
I think I'd like to have a little something

There's a star in the sky
It's caught my eye
And I'm sure that I've seen it before
It was quite long ago
And we stood on the snow
But I can't recall where anymore

Could I please be excused? I'm very confused
I think I'd better have a little something
I think I'd like to have a little something
I think I'd better have a little something
I think I'd like to have a little something

I love your guts, I love your goo
Your ugly blood, your creepy heart
The heart that's true to me and you
I thank you

I'd eat your gum, I'd eat your goo
I love the blood that lights your eyes
And makes your lips the colour blue
I thank you

Your flesh and your insides
Your blood and your outsides
You're blameless and I'm shameless

I am the shit upon your shoe
Your creepy blood is in my heart
The heart that's true to me and you
I thank you

Your flesh and your insides
Your blood and your outsides
You're blameless and I'm shameless

I'm in the mud, I'm in the goo
Your face is cold, your lips are blue
But your heart is true to me and you
I thank you

Your flesh and your insides
Your blood and your outsides
You're blameless and I'm shameless

I've been aching to sneeze
Begging please, pretty please
But I can't get the thing to come out

I've been down on my knees
I've been pissing on trees
But the evil thing just won't come out

Come on out, my pretty baby
Relieve me of my burden, little baby
Come on out, my pretty baby

I've been waking at dawn
With the big bird on
And I can't make the thing go away

I've been throwing up drinks
In the toilets and sinks
But it just sticks around anyway

Come on out, my pretty baby
Relieve me of my burden, little baby
Come on out, my pretty baby

I've been waking at dawn
With a fever going on
And a stain that just won't wash away

I've got nothing to hide
It's just something inside
That keeps coming back, day after day

Come on out, my pretty baby
Relieve me of my burden, little baby
Come on out, my pretty baby
My pretty baby
My pretty baby

I know that you don't love me
I know you hate my guts
I know the nasty things you say
About me, to those sluts

Well, maybe I'm a weasel
Maybe I'm a liar
Maybe I'm a skinny punk
Who couldn't change a tire

I'm laying down and I'm playing dead
I ain't fetchin' no stick, no way, baby

I've always been this pasty
I've always been this shape
I'm just a teensy-weensy thing
Passed on by itsy-bitsy apes

I'm laying down and I'm playing dead
I ain't fetchin' no stick, no way, baby

You know that you could train me
You know I'd sit and beg
But you think I'm just a dirty dog
That tried to hump that pretty leg

I'm laying down and I'm playing dead
I ain't fetchin' no stick, no way, baby